Thursday, June 24, 2010

Searching for birds

It's been a while since I slept a whole night . Sleep is denied to me because of reasons as oppressive as electricity or as exciting as alcohol but it is more often weather related, unfortunately.
But today, my mind is in a state of groggy shock because it has slept too much but it is too used to not sleeping and hence continues to act sleepy.
Either way, all is well.. I am in office. I bought a pair of sweet buns for breakfast and am waiting for chai to arrive. In the meanwhile, I just want to put my legs up on the chair and try my fusion meditation. It will be a mixture of a Japanese Buddhist mudra and stress release excercises I learnt at Rishi Valley to cope with ISC. As if ISC is stress.
Anyway, the idea is to quieten your mind so much till you can hear the last sound. At RV (Rishi Valley) , it was a pampered excercise, babblers and hoopoes fought for attention from your ears and parakeets screeched like naughty children wanting food. You searched and you quietened and you found so much and in the process arrived at a sense of complete calm.
I tried the same today searching , throwing my ears out into the vacuous (no beauty, only truth ) Delhi summer. I searched desperately losing myself in the sound of the last automobile but there were no birds except, if I were honest , the fat pigeons flirting in the balcony.
I achieved a sense of calm sure but yeah.
I was having a conversation with my colleagues about the point of blogging. I think the most important reason is to share and to write with discipline , to sort of put yourself out there.
I started because I read a lot of blogs and connected with a lot of especially female bloggers.There is always this question of writing to an audience, writing self consciously. At some level, even in the most personal writing , in diaries etc , there is an awareness of the world albeit at different levels in a blog , a story , a diary entry or whatever. 

I haven't really thought too much about why I write this blog. Most of my writing is very journalisty and that's not really a good thing. 
I started blogging a lot when I lived in Anoopshahr because I really wanted to share everything about living in a village and report , in some sense as well. 

Anyhow Cq  (look I wrote about you) thinks my blog has no focus.(not that you say this negatively) Neither do I. What is this post about? I don't really care about a focus. I just write whatever and that's not likely to interest too many people because I just write random things I guess. Food, development , silliness, books - some of the things that interest me but none of these can be a specialized blog if I am writing that is. 

Random rant. 


sachida bista said...

I guess there is no focus in your writings, as far as content is concerned. But who am I to agree with Cq - I don't even agree with himself and neither do I have my own set of foci. But I still can say something, can't I, Yammu?

Well, I think, and the reader must start thinking similarly, that the way you write is more important than what you write about - the way you make things your own; the way you make your own words like journalisty and etc. etc. It's sweet. I don't mean to undermine what you write by using words like sweet but then again, you know how adjectives are.

Anyway, this comment has passed all limits of cheesiness. But I guess this might make up for all the Slice of Italy pizzas we couldn't have - we, the non-delhites, the bangalorean and the mountain flower!

Y? said...

awwwwwwwwwwww sachuuuu . I really like your sun and moon writing btw. I think it is very evocative and your words have a sense of reflection to them. I do think that you should ALSO transfer your iggly iggly silly talk to writing. will be fun to read.