Thursday, July 22, 2010

Aunty Chronicles

I take an auto as usual to work and am stopped by Aunty on way who wants a ride to Kalkaji. I tell her that I am not going there but she insists on coming with me to Nehru place. She is voluptuous , polyester kurta wearer who smiles a lot and instantly befriends autoboy.

Anyway, she asks me what I do. I tell her I work for a magazine and in TWO minutes she has asked me where I am from , who all are part of my family, who I live with in Delhi, whether I speak punjabi etc. 

Her handbag is swollen.For some reason, my mistrusting soul starts getting really scared. On top of that she slightly opens swollen handbag and pulls out a white piece of paper. She asks me for my phone number so that we can bathcheet karo later. I tell her that 
I don't have a phone. She asks me why. I come up with some weird explanation. Then she says " Why don't you give me your address?"
My mistrusting heart flips but I manage the courage to say that I live near X block market with a huge conversation sealing smile. 

She pinches my cheeks and the rest of the journey continued peacefully with me wondering when Aunty will get off.

When she finally did, I felt really silly. I just lost the opportunity to get lots of invitations to rajma chawal dinners. What was I thinking she could be? A serial killer! 

Anyway colleague, Sufi slut at work said that aunty probably wanted me to befriend her daughter. On top of that Ms.Sufi said I look hot except my kajalless , ill looking , sleepy face. So far. So good. 


Ghanshyam Nair said...

Man, I was so looking forward to the bit where your phone rings loudly in the auto.

sachida bista said...

I didn't know about this episode. Your life in Delhi is such an adventure and you complain about how you don't have a life anymore!

And yes, your blog template - you couldn't have done better! Really!

satyajit said...

Maybe Aunty is a recently widowed, childless, single aunty who wants a bridge partner for those endless afternooons. Worse still, maybe she is an Amway lieutenant who wants a direct-selling go-getting niece to help her move up the value chain. But of course, neither prospect is as interesting as the friendly Kalkaji serial killer who homes in on her trophies on auto rides.

Y? said...

@KK : I was fully aware.I told her it is a Bangalore number and I don't use it except when my parents call me.
@ Sachu: i changed from tenzing norgay to plain doodh.
@satyajit: all auntry steretypes concisely packed into one tight sentence. Bravo! :)